Sunday, November 21, 2010


The New York Times
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    May 31, 2010

    Happiness May Come With Age, Study Says

    It is inevitable. The muscles weaken. Hearing and vision fade. We get wrinkled and stooped. We can’t run, or even walk, as fast as we used to. We have aches and pains in parts of our bodies we never even noticed before. We get old.
    It sounds miserable, but apparently it is not. A large Gallup poll has found that by almost any measure, people get happier as they get older, and researchers are not sure why.
    “It could be that there are environmental changes,” said Arthur A. Stone, the lead author of a new study based on the survey, “or it could be psychological changes about the way we view the world, or it could even be biological — for example brain chemistry or endocrine changes.”
    The telephone survey, carried out in 2008, covered more than 340,000 people nationwide, ages 18 to 85, asking various questions about age and sex, current events, personal finances, health and other matters.
    The survey also asked about “global well-being” by having each person rank overall life satisfaction on a 10-point scale, an assessment many people may make from time to time, if not in a strictly formalized way.
    Finally, there were six yes-or-no questions: Did you experience the following feelings during a large part of the day yesterday: enjoyment, happiness, stress, worry, anger, sadness. The answers, the researchers say, reveal “hedonic well-being,” a person’s immediate experience of those psychological states, unencumbered by revised memories or subjective judgments that the query about general life satisfaction might have evoked.
    The results, published online May 17 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, were good news for old people, and for those who are getting old. On the global measure, people start out at age 18 feeling pretty good about themselves, and then, apparently, life begins to throw curve balls. They feel worse and worse until they hit 50. At that point, there is a sharp reversal, and people keep getting happier as they age. By the time they are 85, they are even more satisfied with themselves than they were at 18.
    In measuring immediate well-being — yesterday’s emotional state — the researchers found that stress declines from age 22 onward, reaching its lowest point at 85. Worry stays fairly steady until 50, then sharply drops off. Anger decreases steadily from 18 on, and sadness rises to a peak at 50, declines to 73, then rises slightly again to 85. Enjoyment and happiness have similar curves: they both decrease gradually until we hit 50, rise steadily for the next 25 years, and then decline very slightly at the end, but they never again reach the low point of our early 50s.
    Other experts were impressed with the work. Andrew J. Oswald, a professor of psychology at Warwick Business School in England, who has published several studies on human happiness, called the findings important and, in some ways, heartening. “It’s a very encouraging fact that we can expect to be happier in our early 80s than we were in our 20s,” he said. “And it’s not being driven predominantly by things that happen in life. It’s something very deep and quite human that seems to be driving this.”
    Dr. Stone, who is a professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, said that the findings raised questions that needed more study. “These results say there are distinctive patterns here,” he said, “and it’s worth some research effort to try to figure out what’s going on. Why at age 50 does something seem to start to change?”
    The study was not designed to figure out which factors make people happy, and the poll’s health questions were not specific enough to draw any conclusions about the effect of disease or disability on happiness in old age. But the researchers did look at four possibilities: the sex of the interviewee, whether the person had a partner, whether there were children at home and employment status. “These are four reasonable candidates,” Dr. Stone said, “but they don’t make much difference.”
    For people under 50 who may sometimes feel gloomy, there may be consolation here. The view seems a bit bleak right now, but look at the bright side: you are getting old.


    Sunday, November 7, 2010

    Blog # 5

    The relationship between parents and their children is not like any relationship. In order to understand this relationship, we have to get a lot of knowledge and data to help us. Parents always think that the way they treat their kids is the right way, and they never give any chance for their kids to expresses their feelings. Why people have children? To make them suffer or to make them straggle in their lives. Most people assume that having children will make them happier. Yet a lot of experiment shows that parents are not happier than their childless peers, and many cases are less so. We need a lot of experience to know how to handle our kids, and to understand each others. Parents need to know how to love and sacrifice, and their children as well. parents need to learn what are the meaning of sharing and love, and their kids as well. Also, parents need to understand the meaning and pleasure in love to their children. All these steps will help both to understand each others and have a peaceful life.


       
    Parents need to know how to love and sacrifice for their children. A few generations ago, people were not stopping to contemplate whether having a child would make them happy. And we are lucky today because we have choices about these matters. But the percentage of choices- whether to have kids, when,how many-may be one of the reason parents are less happy.some studies found that every successive generation was more put out by having them than the last-our current one most of all. Even more surprisingly, they found that parents’ dissatisfaction only grew the more money they had, even though they had the purchasing power to buy more child care. “And my hypothesis about why this is, in both cases, is the same.” says Twenge (63). Parents need to sacrifice by giving their kids all the tension, and time to understand them more. And to makes them happier because kids are the source of the joy. As Gilbert said after he finally got around having a child:”They are a huge source of joy, but they turn every other source of joy to shit.” (63). Also, children need to sacrifice for their parents especially when they get older. Parents at this time needs their children helps. So, they have to works together to makes balance and be happier.  


    Parents need to learn what are the meaning of sharing and love. Sharing is not only share in conversation or share in thinking. Sharing is more than these things, Is it sharing in feeling, emotion, and thoughts. Young parents, especially first- times, may get upset when they see that their two -years-old wants to keep his toys to himself. at which age does sharing become a socially appropriate behavior and how can you encourage your children to share? we should teach our kids that sharing even if they very young is very important, and the only way to makes them understand that is by learning how to share. Try to play with them and helps them sharing their toys with another kids. Also, children should share with their parents there feeling, and the life events because that will helps both to understand each others and be well-being. Love and sharing are very helpful for successful life. If some one live away from people, he will never enjoy his life. And he will never find a meaning for life because love is coming from many different methods and one of them is sharing. We need to understand how to share with others to have a wonderful life and better future, and successful company. In conclusion, sharing with others is the root for happiness and the best way to makes our kids have compassion in their lives.


    Parents need to understand the meaning of pleasure and love. they need to teach their kids how to love others and be friendly with every one. Pleasure is the well satisfy, any one's want to have a pleasure with his children. And understand each others to makes their lives much better. Parents need to learn how to makes their kids very satisfy and give them all the efforts to succeed in their lives. Also, children need to helps their parents how to makes fully satisfy. As lord Byron said:” Without a meaningful foundation to the relationship that goes beyond immediate gratification, it is impossible to sustain happiness.” (116). parents and children have to work together to make it happen, and to feels pleasure and happy.


    In conclusion, the mean important thing in any relationship is to have love and passion. Having people about whom we care and who care about us to share our lives with-to share the events and thoughts and feelings in our lives-intensifies our experience of meaning, consoles us in our pain, deepens our sense of delight in the world. Lord Byron said. (111). I encourage every child to learn how to behave with his parents, to live in better life and become more well -being.


    Friday, October 29, 2010

    Spending more time with loved ones

    We all love to spend most of our time with the person we love. It can be someone's from our family, friends, or boyfriend and girlfriend. The best time ever in my life, when I spend time with my family. I feel warm and there are no problems in my live. I love to be very close to them and enjoy their companies as much as I can. When I travel some where, I feel sick and I can't stay away more than a week. Time with family is priceless, I don't think that anyone's else can give love more than my family. Everybody are different. Some people like to spend their times with friends or boy/girlfriends. So, everyone's has his own way to find his joy and well-being. Anyway, spending a little time with my family, can show them how I care about them and how I love them.

    Sacrifice and sharing

    Mildred said that every sacrifice has a fruitful reward, every failure has a second chance....We only have to be strong by God's grace to persevere in the tests of life.In order to makes someone's happy in his lives, you have to sacrifice for him. I mean sacrificing for love has big meaning. If we have a real love in our life, we have to sacrifice to makes this love stronger and longer. We have to sacrifice our life ,to makes our children better than us.Sharing is giving what you have to others. I like when Lany said if there is something better than sharing with others the best of what you have, it is sharing with others the best of who you are. If we share and give people who doesn't have their lives needs, we will be the happiest people in the earth. Sharing is more than to give to others, but it is your feeling when you give. I like to share with others because that makes me feel better. Anyway, sharing and sacrificing are very unique. If someone has both in his personality, he will be a happy person and feel claim in his life.

    Real love vs. The Ideal

    Real love is very rare at this time. It is not easy to find someone and you can have a real love together. In my life experience, we can have a real love one's in our life or maybe non. Some people lives their whole lives looking for a real love,but they never find it. I think that I never have in my life before a really serious relationship or real love. The ideal is what we what to be. I mean that we all have created an ideal self, the person we want to be. The ideal is something really disappear in our lives. Everyday we are forced to choose between the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life.so, the reality is totally different because we always have the wrong choice. In my own experience, I see most of my choices are wrong because I choose what's makes me feel good not what's right. Anyway, the truth is our generation are suffering a lot because we can't have a real love and we can't understand the ideal.

    Wednesday, October 20, 2010

    Happiness at work

                                   Happiness at work is one of the most important thing in everyone life. Because a lot of people works, and they don't like what they do, and at the same time they feel unhappy. Work is everything in our life. Without work we can't pay our bills, we can't live normal life, and we can't enjoy our life. So, work is very impotent in everyone life. In order to be happy in your job, you have to like what you do, to feel that you can give all your effort to be happy. We have to begin by asking some questions to ourselves. We challenge our assumptions, our conventional ways of thinking about what can be possible in our lives. We need to know that if we are happy at work or not. And, how we can be happier? How can I change my job, and start looking for something can makes me happy. I like when Tal Ben-Shaher said in his book "the pursuit of happiness," "the employee should feel that her work has a significant impact on others."(99). That is really will develop a lot in any work field.


                                  Happiness at work is a little bit complicated. We can't feel happy all the time at work, because of course there are sometimes feel that we doing routine. But we are wrong because we have to create extra work to do, to get rid of this feeling. All that can be easy if we like our job. I like to add part from the psychologist Abraham Maslow when he wrote something about happiness at work, he said:" the most beautiful fate,the most wonderful good fortune that can happen to any human being, is to be paid for doing that which he passionately loves to do."(101). So, that is we have to love what we do,in order to be happy. Other wise we will be have a miserable time during our work times. I like to talk about my own experience. I love my work because I feel myself improving in my field. Everyday when I wake up in the morning,I want to be at my work as soon as possible.because that is part from my joy, and happiness in
    my life.


                                   Although happiness is not merely contingent on what we do or where we are but on what we choose to perceive. There are a lot of people who are unhappy at work, but they are very happy in other things. For example, an unhappy business man may learn to derive meaning and pleasure from his business if he chooses to focus on those aspects that are personally meaningful and pleasurable.Also, there are some people not only unhappy in their work, but they are unhappy in relationship,or in life general. Those make the possibility of finding happiness extremely difficult.


                                  In the end, I would like to say that everyone can find a job or a career in where he/she be satisfied.but we can usually do better. In my opinion we can find what we like, if we give all our effort to be happy in our job. So, I like to encourage everybody to do his/her best to be happy in his/her work.